Category Archives: Deep

Jaguar Leaps

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I’m a single girl–

With a career.

My job may be moving me

In a year…

I’ve had it rough

Lost in love…

Done the soul mate swap

Where’s my hubs??

Bouncing around

The gypsy that I am

I missed the window

For babies & a fam.

It’s a bit sad–

But I try to have faith

That the Universe knows

Which direction to take.

I’m deep, complex–

“Scorpio Style”.

Being with myself

I’ve learned to dial…

Into my heart,

Into the earth…

The work is hard—

Its own kind of birth.

Kali Quan Yin

Crow Dragonfly

The jaguar leaps–

While something else dies. 

————————————————————————————–

NOTES: Found this profound poem in on my computer tonight. I had completely forgotten about it. I often write poems in a kind of meditative, stream-of-consciousness state and then just forget about them. It is very healing for me. This one is no exception. Reading it gave me chills. It’s rather potent and personal, but vulnerability is a beautiful thing. The disappointments in my life have taught me so much, brought me ever closer to the core of my heart. They have helped me learn to heal myself and thus carry the wisdom of transformation within.

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Love

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In the night

Still air

My heart waits–

Falls towards

YOU.

Endlessly

Tumbling

Opening…

–Floating–

And finally…

Closing.

In the peace

Of its own

Protection,

Compassion

For this lonely

Suffering

Arises.

The greatest teacher,

Rejection,

Shows me

Once again

How to

LOVE.

““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““““

I was inspired to write this poem this week by one of my clients.  I was talking to her about some fears and disappointments she has related to rejection.  I was explaining how I came to see rejection as one of the greatest teachers in life because it forced me to accept parts of myself that appeared to be less desirable, less acceptable, or basically, rejected.  Being alone as a result of being rejected or just not getting what I wanted (socially, professionally, or in some other way) at various times forced me to become a student of the most difficult coursework I’ve encountered thus far–how to turn my compassion inward and really give it to myself.  My life has included many successes and also quite a few disappointments.  The latter have taught me the most.  They deepened my character, strengthened my courage, expanded my heart, and made me a healer.  When we do not get met in our love or our desires ON THE OUTSIDE, we have to learn to nurture, love, and console ourselves ON THE INSIDE.  This is probably one of the most valuable things a person can do.  So, I encouraged my client, “Do not be afraid of rejection…Instead, welcome it as an opportunity — an invitation for compassion, an occasion to learn to love perhaps the hardest but most deserving person (>>#1<<), and an opening into a divine and intimate relationship with the Self and, through this, our Source.”

 

Stormy Sunday

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Simon you are

Like sunlight to me.

Penetrating, wild

And definitely free.

 

I love how you shine–

How you move and dance.

Together we’ve entered

A compelling trance.

 

But our love–it’s unstable,

A warm, stormy cloud…

Lightening and thunder

That’s deafeningly loud.

 

Together we SOAR

But also we dive.

It’s elating and painful.

There’s nowhere to hide.

 

I can’t trust my feelings

And just open to love.

It’s rocky…and wobbly,

Too confusing…I’m stuck.

 

I never thought I’d be

In such an unsteady state.

But what did I expect?

You mirror my face.

 

My true name is NISCHALA

Said a guru in the sky.

I must learn to live it–

Look fear in the eye.

 

“Steadiness, unwavering…”

This is who I am,

Said Satchidananda, the guru.

I can be it.  I can.

 

Hold tight to a fixed point,

And float in the abyss.

My heart is an anchor

When the dragon’s fire hits.

 

I always have a still point

Inside I can trust.

God is within me.

I do know this much.

 

My love is a light

So infinite and free.

If steady in myself

I am completed by me.

 

You are a gift, dear Simon

To show me once again

That the source of true love

Is inside my own skin.

 

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

 

I don’t usually publish my more personal or “shadow-side” poems, but I realize by only offering the lighter side of myself, I am keeping my shadow in the darkness.  And one of my commitments, being the consciously evolving Scorpio that I am (or try to be), is to bring darkness to light and experience transformation through the depths.  I also really believe that creativity or the Muse can help us gain insights and heal parts of ourselves that are stuck or confused.  Writing poetry is one of the best ways I’ve found to work through difficult or painful situations and emotions.  Drawing or dancing can (also) really help, but there is a special power in words…Don’t you think?

Today a samurai.  Tomorrow a butterfly.  And so it goes…

Note:  Swami Satchidananda, the founder of Integral Yoga, gave me the spiritual name Nischala upon completion of my yoga teacher’s training certification in 2004.  The name was “channeled” for me through his principal lineage holder Swami Dyananda, as Satchidananda is no longer in the body.  Dyananda taught us that spiritual names can sometimes reflect the light and truth that we already are, but in other cases they reflect what we are destined to become through learning and growth.

Living up to this name has become a goal of my life…  OM OM.